1. “Christmas is a time when you get homesick – even when you’re home.” – Carol Nelson
2. “The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” – Buddy the Elf, Elf
3. “I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year.” – Ebenezer Scrooge, A Christmas Carol
4. “Santa Claus has the right idea – visit people only once a year.” – Victor Borge
5. “The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.” – George Carlin
6. “There’s nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child.” – Erma Bombeck
7. “I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.” – Dick Gregory
8. “Maybe Christmas, the Grinch thought, doesn’t come from a store.” – Dr. Seuss, How the Grinch Stole Christmas
9. “There are three stages of man: he believes in Santa Claus; he doesn’t believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.” – Bob Phillips
10. “I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.” – Bernard Manning
11. “Christmas is a time when you get homesick – even when you’re home.” – Carol Nelson
12. “I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.” – Winston Spear
13. “I once wrapped my Christmas presents early and a week later they were stolen. It was a surprise to the thief.” – Unknown
14. “The one thing women don’t want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is their husband.” – Joan Rivers
15. “I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.” – Dick Gregory
16. “I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.” – Shirley Temple
17. “The only blind person at Christmas time is he who has not Christmas in his heart.” – Helen Keller
18. “I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas with a note on it saying, toys not included.” – Bernard Manning
19. “Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.” – Johnny Carson
20. “I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.” – Dick Gregory
21. “The only blind person at Christmas time is he who has not Christmas in his heart.” – Helen Keller
22. “The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.” – George Carlin
23. “I once wrapped my Christmas presents early and a week later they were stolen. It was a surprise to the thief.” – Unknown
24. “I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph.” – Shirley Temple
25. “I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.” – Dick Gregory
